Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
