i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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