There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
