If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
