i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
