You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
