before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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