I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All the doctor said was why
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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