I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im holly from the hills drunk
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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