Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
