so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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