In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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