There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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