There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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