I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
