I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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