why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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