They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
