I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
