Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
