Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
