When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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