is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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