Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
