I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
