I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The ass gains better be worth it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
