if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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