Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
