trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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