Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
