He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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