When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
