Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
