I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
