My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
