dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
