just come out here and I will go home with you...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
