My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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