Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
