cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
that's an acceptable place to lick
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I love having hate sex.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
