dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
