just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
