wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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