In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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