I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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