That's intense
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
