She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
