belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
