You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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