I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
