he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
